I think I was doing better in hotel quarantine! Today, I had a relapse into a semi tantrum stage that I remember being in during my isolation in France. It has returned! It is exactly 8 weeks today that I arrived in France to lockdown. Maybe it's triggering memories. After another terrible sleep, I got out of bed. Yes, readers, I managed that. So proud of myself. Had a pot of coffee (yes, a pot! It has come to that) and walked to the shops for food before that part of me who whispered as I awoke: 'Don't get up!' got the better of me and convinced me to go straight back to bed. This is so unlike me. I wake, I check the coronovirus worldometer stats around the world, I arise, shower, get dressed, put lipstick on (this is probably more important than anything else), and then I coffee. Even in my darkest hours, I kept this routine going. I struggled with it this morning. I worry that tomorrow, another part of me that has emerged with this virus, will take over and run the show. It is the Covid-19 depressed me. It followed me around as I social distanced and disinfected my hands at every disinfectant station on my rounds. I thought I'd lost it but it came with me to the supermarket and made me buy biscuits. I rarely buy biscuits. They were expensive Italian biscuits. I bought them. And when I returned home I ate half of the packet. I. Have. Never. Done. That. Before. In. My. Life!
I said to the daughter I was going to buy plants, I needed to get away from the biscuits. I needed to do something wholesome. I knew the daughter would accompany me, she was variegated plant obsessed; (this didn't come from me, I like a good uniform colour in a leaf; I blame her father). We went, we bought, I planted. The depressive Covid gene was still tailing me after I completed this activity. I went to bed. I think I napped but don't really know if I did. I ate more biscuits. I was done with creativity. I didn't want to paint or write or more importantly, wear winter clothes. I had come from 6 months of cold weather and I was now going into another winter so I put on a autumn weight dress and refused to take it off. I was cold for most of the day. I solved this by ringing my plumber to put a gas heater outlet upstairs in the art room so that I could continue to wear coolish dresses for as long a possible. I am in a contrary mood but I had the look of a woman embracing autumn. I shall keep up the pretence for as long as possible.
PS. I didn't eat the last of the biscuits as of 10 pm. That could change if I awake at my usual time of 3.30.
PSS. I wasn't going to write this blog but it has happened. I think the sugar from the biscuits has finally kicked in.
Me in warmer weather with the Sicilians serenading me. #blendeditor
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