I finished the rug! I would do things very differently if I did it again but I don't think that'll happen anytime soon. A lot of cutting. The weaving was very therapeutic though, all thoughts disappeared as I listened to Lana del Rey on #Spotify and days disappeared. It's not as big as I had hoped but I ran out of vintage fabrics that matched. It was a bit of a process like the self isolation. In the beginning it seems life changing, a never before experienced way of living. You begin on a bit of a high, wondering how you'll cope, that it'll be an interesting experience (this was how I felt about the rug, I don't feel that now). About week three, the newness of it starts to fade, by week four we were ready to cross to the other side of the world through crowded carriages and empty airports with even emptier planes. We took a risk to remove ourselves from the ongoing ennui. By week 6, after the hotel quarantine experience, the newness of being home and having normal things to do took the attention away from the continuance of the virus period. By week 7, I had begun the making of the rug to end all rugs (which it has, not going there again anytime soon). I have bought cocktail hour back (having been good since I arrived home -well not that good but only the daughter knew up to now) the last couple of nights because I really just want to get back into the world, to a luxurious fancy cocktail bar. Just to wander amongst humanity again (although the daughter walked to Coogee today and there was so much humanity there that she was horrified and came back home), so maybe not that much.
All my packages seemed to have arrived in the last two days so I have revamped my life a bit with online buying. I still disinfect my hands a couple of times after undoing the packages and I wash all the contents straight away so I'm still on Covid virus patrol. The house has never looked cleaner. Both the daughter and I ,at any given time of the day, just start to do a house cleanse, a sageing of the spaces, washing of hitherto places that have not been washed for quite some time. We have almost run out of things to clean. What then? She has two months before she goes back to Uni and I have a lifetime to work out what to go back to.
Last night we looked up at the full super Flower Moon and we met up with our tenants, drank a bit too much and allowed the moonlight to wash it's gentle light over us as we sat out the back in the gazebo talking about lives and where we wanted to steer them. We wrote our releases, our dreams and our gratefulness on scraps of paper and let them go. A month ago we were standing on the balcony in Bordeaux, France, peering up at the last full moon, releasing our dreams of how we had envisaged our year abroad. Last night we tried to move on with new visions and my daughter brought up healing for the world. I really hope enough of us have changed the structures of our minds, our beliefs and that we move forward more united, more aware of how fragile life is and how we must take the minutes of each day and hold them more gently in our hands than we used to pre- Covid 19. Let's hope so.
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