Quarantine Day 36. It's the simple things.

I found another window that opens 10 cm! The daughter aways says I don't notice anything. In my defence it was hidden behind the curtains but it made my day. It's the little things. Then she mentioned she was getting someone to drop off a plunger coffee pot with coffee to herself in the other room. Genius! Why didn't I think of that! I plotted and planned and involved friends. One had a plunger, she offered to get the ingredients and to walk to another friend's house to drop them off and then the husband of the house picked up the wife from work and dropped them to the hotel, then a friendly young army guy delivered them to my room with a smile. It was like a tactical manoeuvre. I am now in possession of a new morning ritual! It's the simple things.

I ordered a bottle of wine and my friend delivered matches. What for you may ask? In France, the daughter had a delivery of #Yankeecandles, I brought one back with me but had no way of lighting it. It is lit, the air is fragrant with Vanilla Cupcake, I have my wine and I am watching the flight of different bird species. I have become an observer. Just before sunset, when the sky starts to pink up on the horizon, come the ibis, then an odd swallow and then the bats fly past. They all fly from east to west (except for the swallows who just seem to be having a bit of fun). I've never sat and watched, I usually move about and and I was always in the process of finding things to do to fill in the empty spaces of my life without my late husband. I have to say this virus, for me, ( being now in the safety net of not getting it), has changed my life.

My daughter commented on a selfie I put up on Instagram and said: 'Isolation suits you.' She's right in a way. There is nowhere to go or things to do to put off my creativity any more. Before this, from being a fervent creator of all things (jewellery, pottery, painting, renovation, gardening, mosaics etc), I went to thinking that I couldn't see the point of any of these things. Now I realise there doesn't have to be a point, I can just do these things for me. I have had to do them in this self isolation period to prevent myself from sinking into the watery depths of the depression I was in last year, and so my creativity has become my life jacket. I am finding myself again behind a door in a hotel room that I can't exit for the time being. The solitude has woken apart of me that I thought had been packed away forever. And this is a big thing.

Onions at a market in France.

Quarantine Day 35. I Can Breathe Again.

The test for the daughter was negative! I can breathe again. I didn't realise how stressed I was. I have been reading so many articles on younger people getting really sick with this virus and I was so worried that if she did have it, I wouldn't be able to get to her. I'm day 5 also, so my chances of getting it are getting lower; although the nurse that rings everyday said I wouldn't be completely safe until day 14.

We celebrated with Uber Eats. Strangely the most exciting part of the delivery was the fact that I saw humans for the first time in days! A policeman and an army guy ( both quite attractive I may add ) delivered it to my door (tax payers money well spent) and they smiled! The staff here drop off the food and are gone in a flash before you open your door. I was so happy, I don't think I realised how much I was missing human contact. Having travelled solo for most of last year, I thought I'd be fine with this solitary confinement but in reality, you don't really travel alone as you're in proximity of people. I plan on ordering again when I need to see a smiling face.

The day, although busy with my various activities, saw me fall through a few cracks that obviously I hadn't sewn up. I think it's because of the aloneness and not being able to open a door and take yourself out into the sunshine, into outside life. After last year's bout of anxiety and depression, I didn't want to go down into nothingness again so I've been trying the deep breathing technique and it works! Can recommend it highly. Onwards and upwards.

PS. And thank you everyone for your concern about our food! We've got it sorted with our delivery of fresh fruit and salad ingredients. All good.

Selfie from my conference room.

Quarantine Day 33/34. Awaiting results.

The daughter is sweating, feels cold and has a sore throat. A nurse in a Hazmat suit came and did a test, the daughter said her nose feels violated. Awaiting results. Received care packages delivered to my door by a policeman and an army guy (taxpayers money well spent). As lunch was another inedible coolish pasta meal, as was dinner that night (two pieces of broccoli and some capers fished out of the pasta). I lunched and dined instead on cucumbers, celery and some delicious camembert and gourmet biscuits. I am renewed.

I came in late to the office on Saturday as I was doing an online Pattern and Design course to create fabrics. Stopped in for a quadruple Nescafe packet coffee and then off to Dance classes and gym. By the time I jogged to the office an then went to my art class, the sun had sunk well enough into the sky for me to have my 5.30 pm drink. This was on Saturday. By Sunday, I was thinking about starting cocktail hour at 5.30, I texted this desire to a friend at 5.02 pm. She texted straight back and said she'd started 2 minutes ago: 'If you start now,' she recommended, 'you'll get an extra half an hour.' The best advice I'd had in years! I took it on board and by 5.05, I had implemented her recommendation.

I managed to get through Saturday with flying colours but by Sunday afternoon, I had become slightly unstuck. I had come to the end of being creative, of being energetic. I hadn't been sleeping well as I awoke two nights in a row thinking I'd heard my daughter calling me and hadn't been able to get back to sleep so easily. I think it's because if she is diagnosed with the C virus, I won't be able to be with her; worse than that, we've found out she would be taken to another hotel. My thoughts after midnight were catastrophic as you can well imagine. I tried to watch Netflix with limited success as I just couldn't concentrate, I read, I paced, I ate the chocolate ration I'd requested in my care package. I fell asleep at 10, woke at 2, fell asleep around 4, was wide awake at 5. Fun times.

Below is a watercolour I finished of two ladies I photographed in Seville, Spain. Memories!